a friend of mine gave me a copy of "he's just not that into you" for my birthday this year, and it wasn't until today that i began to read it. boy, did i wish i started earlier. it is an anthem for single girls everywhere who are way too good for the boys that they put up with.
chapter 1: don't put up with his excuses. NOTHING should keep him from putting in the effort to be around you or call you if he likes you. It really doesn't matter how much work he has, or how stressed out he is. If he wants to talk to you, be around you, or be with you, he will do it. after this lesson, there was a workbook exercise outlining why you shouldn't call him if he's not calling you.

Write down 5 good reasons why you should call him. leave it alone for an hour, come back and see if your answers make you look pathetic. "p.s. you just did an exercise in a workbook to see if you should call him. he didn't even put in the energy to pick up the phone." touche.

So what does this mean for me? well, to be blunt, i'm smart, i'm relatively funny, i have many wonderful loving friends, among other amiable qualities (i can cook, i read the new york times, etc..) yet i spend an incalculable amount of time wondering what X is doing, and why he hasn't texted, emailed, or called me. i know his fucking schedule. i can think of 3 separate moments in his "hectic day" when he has time to at least drop me a line. so why should i care as much as i do? as much as i hated him at the time, i suddenly have a lot of respect for an ex boyfriend from several years ago who refused to have any contact with me after we broke up. i was able to move on. this is some uncomfortable grey area.

there are many wonderful things i can be doing/people i can be seeing. it's about time i started doing it, instead of stressing out over whether he will contact me. As the book states, actions speak louder than words. he can tell me he misses me all he wants, but at the end of the day, he's not making an effort to show me that he cares, so why should i?