i had a very odd experience last night.
i went to a party, and saw this kid that i used to have a MAJAH crush on in high school. i obviously wanted to flirt with him a little bit (he is also someone who the friends have been pushing me to hook up with), and when we were talking, i suddenly felt extremely guilty.

I couldn't stop thinking about X, and felt like i was doing something wrong by TALKING to this guy (which is completely ridiculous).
This was the first time i felt like i wasn't really living my life because i was still attached to what i had with X. I always knew that this day would come, but i realized it last night more than ever, and it was a horrible feeling.
I had bad dreams.