for some reason, i thought it would be a good idea to drink many martinis, make homemade mac and cheese, and watch "something's gotta give". even now, this looks like it would be a fabulous evening (on paper only i might add). turns out, one should never watch a romantic comedy whilst trying to forget about a boy. it only makes you want to drunk dial them and say how much you miss them. this is never a good idea. let me make one thing clear: I DID NOT DO THIS. for some inexplicable reason, i managed to put my phone down before dialing, stumble up to bed, and drunkenly blog about my feelings. However... while brushing my teeth, i turned around, got a glimpse of my ass and realized that all that working out has PAID OFF. one point pour moi. Clearly there must be something more exciting than my barrel of crazy to occupy him, otherwise he would have emailed me today. i have heard ZIP for the past 2 days... not that i'm counting or anything. if the girl talk i had earlier today has taught me anything, it's that this can only mean good things for me.

According to the newest issue of cosmo (aka the biggest cliche of my life), US women return to the same toxic love patterns because we get used to them. we begin to think that we are only loved if someone is treating us badly or trying to win us back. Never before have i felt that someone has figured out what is truly going on in my life. Not even after 4 years of college psychology, a therapist, and countless cocktails had in his name while listening to fiona apple and pondering all the reasons why he is bad for me. Unfortunately, even through my vodka haze i feel like there is only one lesson learned from tonight's viewing: the reason i feel this way is because i love him. further, if that's the case then i should try and fix things... he must love me too. When people love each other, you work things out. Except, i'm only 22 and even I know better.