ugh, I am very very sick. It's my own fault for trying to work late nights and then go out after, resulting in too many sleepless nights followed by long days of work. It's been good though. Two jobs aint that bad. I'm sure after another month of this though, i will become sick of it.

The good thing about working so much/attending weekly yoga/drinking so much good wine is that I have BARELY thought of X's existence. This has been made especially easy since he had been traveling in the woods somewhere far away from me for the past month.
except....

I assume he's back because I got home from work today tired, sniffling, and changing into my PJ's when i see that in my haste to leave this morning I left my gmail up. There is one missed gchat message... from you know who.

My heart sank. Of course it was funny. of course it was a little sassy. i really don't need this now. I'm sick, i'm working odd hours, and i'm trying REALLY REALLY hard to be ok.

a few days ago, i was having a sweet catch up chat with one of one of our mutual friends. let me re-phrase this: his best friend, and one of my closest guy pals. the three of us used to hang out all the time. this mutual friend Z commented that in the world X cares about 3 people: himself, another bro from his childhood and me. I told Z I was just too exhausted with all the bullshit to be his friend right now, and it's true. The way I feel right now is how I feel about our entire relationship. If you burn the candle on both ends for so long, you will eventually come down with a temp, and wanna just fucking throw the towel in.

in conclusion, im not going to respond or send a message back. He can figure it out all by his lonesome that I need a fucking break.